*HUGS* TOTAL!
*HUG ME* WE MADE IT THROUGH DA WEEKEND!

You Are In a Fantastic Mood *yeahhh DATz IT*


You're confident, focused, and on top of your game. *wat game i dunt play sports*
People are attracted to your energy right now. *wink* *wink*
This is the time to go for it - you're likely to get what you want! *butterscotch icecream 2 go, tanxz*

SATDAY CHUBBLE

MOURNDAY FOONIES

LIFE ON THE ETCH-A-SKETCH HELP DESK

Peace


*NU ALERT*
Father's Day

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Peace
Ereplazabl & Ereziztabl
Lã¥Ðéè P

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CUSTOMER COMMENTZ

This was a customer who i had this past Sunday at 10 A.M. wen i'm already in a bad mood.

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BUZ RULEZ

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*NU: WHY ASK WHY*

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Peace
Ereplazabl & Ereziztabl
Lã¥Ðéè P

*NU ALERT*

*HUGS* TOTAL! i need a *HUG* zzzZZZ....

ok, i am in a rush......ahhh.....wen i haf tyme i will write mo' (current time 1:13 a.m.)

First: i had the solution to Desperate Housewives 'bout a week ago i figured out the mysteries of Wysteria (if dat's how its spelt) Lane, i jus fegot 2 type it....STAY TUNED!

Second: *pops out head* umm...shyt...its May 1st at least i tink soo......O_o

Third: I ab-solutely luved readin da 101'z out dere, learned a lot like......how short i am tanx Renee

Fourth: *pops bak in head* oh yeah, some people well i know Stang and Trish said dey MSN Messenger was messed, well i fixed myne, took me 2 weeks but i got it workin' i'll tell u how.....................2moro' sorry laydeez, beddy bye tyme, gotta wake @ 5

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Mourn-day Foonies

UPDATED EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK

DRESS CODE
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week!

THE MANAGEMENT

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Peace
Ereplazabl & Ereziztabl
Lã¥Ðéè P


*HUGS* You know you wannnaa *HUG*

*Temporary Title: Never Knew*

I said to myself I didn't love you anymore
But who am I fooling but my own heart
The tears I held inside
Was a river inside of me
Just trying to break free

Chorus:
I never ever knew how much my heart could break
Never ever knew how much you could take
I had to find out the hard way
Never kever knew how much
But I'm lost inside,
Can't find
The peice of me that died

I let you in
And you broke the door of the hinge
It was my mistake
I know,
But I can't take it back
You took a peice of me
Now I'm broken can't you see

Chorus

I pushed you away
And you came back again
Why can't I escape
This love trap I'm in?
Someone please help me realize
He doesn't love me like he did before
But he's the only one I adore

Chorus x2

The difference between me and everyone else
Their heartbroken but I'm just broken
*Teardrop*

hahahaha...hahaa

Quote

Day off from work.

Ahh, a day off. Can't think of anything to do. I could rant about my crappy job, but everybody does that. For those of us who do work for a living, our jobs are the one thing we all can universally bitch about.

We even make promises to ourselves that when we get together with our co-workers outside the workplace we don't discuss our jobs. Sure enough, what happens? Someone gets drunk or stoned and brings up what Sharon or Bob in Management said, or how they had to spend the whole day dealing with bitchy customers, or whatever it is about his or her job that pisses him/her off. Most of the time I usually end up joking about the customers I deal with.

So, instead of ranting, I'm going to share some of my strangest customer interactions with you. For those of you who haven't read my earlier blogs, and those of you who don't remember, I will tell you briefly what I do again.

Basically, I work for a big US cell phone company. I help train new hire reps in taking calls and I'm one of the people a customer gets when they ask for a supervisor. I will either fix the problem or tell them as professionally as I can to f**k off without actually saying F**k off.

I'd like to think I'm pretty good at what I do. Sometimes it's actually kind of fun getting to crush people's hopes of dodging a bill payment. .....Evil Bwaa Ha Ha Ha!...... Every now and then however, there are those really stupid f**king customers that make me want to climb up on my chair, secure my tie to the light fixture above me, and have a colleague kick away the chair. No offense intended, but I think it's because they are Americans. Oh, I think I'm starting to rant here. Think happy thoughts. Puppies, kittens, sunshine, beer. There we go, I'm better.

Here are a few examples, as recorded by our Quality control department. These are real:

Customer, an elderly woman from Florida: My phone seems to turn off whenever a call's coming in.

Me: Alright, let's see if I can determine the problem. First of all, ma'am, what do you normally do when a call comes in?

Customer: I push the one key marked PWR. That means Press When Ringing doesn't it?

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Customer, a middle aged man from some midwestern state: Yes, I'd like to inquire about a bill I recently received from you people.

Me: Okay, Sir. May I have your wireless phone number?

Customer: That's the thing, I haven't had service with you people for over a year, so my number is gone. Why are you poeple sending me a bill?

Me: Well, Sir, that's alright. We can actually look up the account number if you have it available.

Customer: Sure, it's XXXXX-XXXXX. (I can't really tell you the number)

Me: Thank you, Sir. To speed up the search, can you tell me what state you're in?

Customer: Somewhere between confusion and denial.

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Customer, woman from the Deep South: I'm tryin' to save myself from goin' over my minutes. I wanna axe you: Does my phone use minutes when it's jus' sittin' there on?

Me, trying hard not to laugh: No, Ma'am, you only use minutes when you're actually talking on your phone.

Customer: So I'm using minutes right now?

Me: Well, yes, but....

Customer:....*click*.....(I was going to tell her that calls to customer care were free)

-------------------------

This one was one I was helping a rep with:

Customer, a stoned young man from southern California: May I ask you where you're located?

Rep: All I can tell you, Sir, is that I'm in Alberta. (She wasn't supposed to say even that. Security reasons.)

Customer: Alberta, huh?  Ummmm....What state is that in?

--------------------------

We can usually tell when customers are lying......

Customer, woman from New York: There's absolutely no way I could have used that many minutes. My family and I went out on a boating trip Labour Day weekend and my phone fell overboard. All those calls after that date are just bullsh*t. I'm not paying them.

Me: Ma'am, we here at customer care can verify your phone was used after Labour Day.

Customer: Prove it.

Me: Your phone has an Electronic Serial Number. Every time you make a call, that number gets registered in our systems. That's how we bill you.

Customer (nervous):...What the f**k are you talking about?

Me: Well, there has been no record of you ever replacing the phone you claim to have dropped in the water. The logs show that the ESN I told you about was used for that entire billing cycle. According to the updated report I'm looking at, your phone was used earlier this morning, and you're on it right now.

Customer:......SH*T!!!!............*click*.........

------------------------------------

There are so many more like that. People really are that stupid. Trust me, I don't have the imagination to make these up. Once again, this isn't a rant. Puppies, kittens, sunshine, beer.......

Peace,

Will

Here's a great humorist...haha....he continuallly makes me laugh.

Quote

Some good olde fashioned Dirty Limericks.

This is the result of having nothing better to do. I was watching an episode of The Simpsons and there was a scene where Homer said he knew a man from Nantucket. Bart: "And?" Homer: "Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated."

That clever reference inspired me to dig up some other limericks. A relative had an big old book of them and I remembered writing some of them down. Luckily, I kept that piece of paper. Here they are:

There one was a man named Dave,

Who kept a dead whore in a cave.

He said "I admit. I'm a bit of a sh*t,"

"But think of the money I save."

 

Once a young man from Leeds,

Dared swallow a packet of seeds.

Great tufts of grass sprouted out of his ass,

And his balls were covered in weeds.

 

There once was a man from St. Clair,

Who f**ked a young girl on the stair.

The bannister broke, so he doubled his stroke,

And finished her off in mid air.

 

A highly bored damsel named Brown,

Remaked as she lay herself down:

"I hate to be doing all this promiscuous screwing,"

"But what else can you do in this town?"

 

A round bottomed girl from Mobile,

Longed for years to be screwed by a seal.

But out at the zoo, they said "No can do."

Though the seal was all hot for the deal.

 

The orgy was held on the lawn,

And we passed out before dawn.

We found ourselves viewing twenty two couples screwing,

But by sun-up they'd all come and gone.

 

There once was a young man named Gene,

Who fashioned a f**king machine.

Concave and convex. It fits either sex.

With attractions for those in between.

Ha ha.

Peace,

Will

hahahah its been an xciting day, and overall i think i'm endin it on a great and high note. Friends, i may admit at times are not worth hafin at ur lowest points, but somehow always find u and pick u up. This is were the great ideas start and the adventure seekers come about....in converstaion between friends, my theory. I thank God for the people that have been presented in my lifem, because widout them i dunno where i;d be at this point in my life. Today an unfortunate car accident happened, where my life flashed before my life, and made me tink if it was in in front of the car that hit the person down. I got opinions and i tink its unanimous that life is what u make it so don't waste it and know that things happened unexpectedly, so cherish the ones you have now, u never know wen they will be taken away. And so to those i dedicate a poem to acknowledge the ones i love and hope never to lose.

To My Friends  By: Travis Runnels

Always there,
They always care.
Times taken for granted,
Now remembered.
The short times now cherished.

You never know,
How much they mean,
Till you think of the times you’ve spent

All of the good times,
And the bad.
Sorry there had to be bad.
You must know I miss you more,
More than my own blood.

Things we have done,
Places we have gone,
All in fun.
Now a reminder,
Of the times we spent.

I don’t know if you will ever know,
The way that I feel,
But you must know.
I love you so.
My Friends

And afta all of these times all i can say is dont be fall into heightism, its wrong! haha Peace